Young pretender: Micra owners have grown up with their cars – the average age of new owners is now 54.
Price £11,150
MPG 68.9
Top speed 112mph
Why would a pedestrian dress their dog in a yellow or burgundy coat? Are they: A) dog training, B) colour blind, C) deaf or D) elderly? Any idea? No, me neither. It's just one of the 650 questions that students taking their driving theory test are expected to know. A survey by Haynes, which has just published The Highway Code for Drivers (£2.50), finds one in three of us believe we'd fail the theory test if we had to take it now.
It's 28 years since I passed my test (first time, and I still feel improbably chuffed about that). I don't remember the test, but I do recall my driving instructor, Gary, very clearly. He had constant catarrh, a nasal Glaswegian accent and whined incessantly about Rangers, and his car, a Nissan Micra, always smelled overpoweringly of apricot air freshener and chips.
Gary and his car have been on my mind for two reasons this week. First, my teenage daughter has just had her first driving lesson (with Kevin in a Ford Fiesta, no detectable smell, though) and, secondly, I've been driving the latest incarnation of Nissan's Micra.
Before getting into the car I decided to recreate some of my heady teenage days at the wheel of a car for the first time. Not by spritzing the car with apricot juice and stretching into a Rangers shirt, but by taking an online UK Driving Theory Test (DTT). You are posed 50 questions in a 57-minute test. To pass you must score 43 or more. I decided to approach the exam as I would any other – so, no revision. The results? Well, it went the same way as so many of my other exams – a narrow fail – 42. But it did only take me 19 minutes.
Having taken the theory, it was time for the practical part of this car test. For anyone who has been a fan of the bug-eyed bubble-backed Noddy Nissan, this all-new version is a disappointment to look at. Whereas the previous model had a mischievous smile and packed a petite punch when it came to style, this one looks a little joyless despite the Starburst colours, its charisma bypassed in favour of middle-of-the-road blandness. It's not surprising it's looking a little wan. Nissan's award-winning Sunderland factory used to pop out Micras with such efficiency the Tyne-and-Wear plant became the most productive in Europe. But now the Micra is being produced in India, from where it will be reimported back to Blighty, leaving the Geordie workers to concentrate on the Micra's funkier sisters – Juke, Note, Qashqai and Leaf. It's hard not to feel that the Micra has been parked up in Miss Havisham's garage.
But the little car won't give up quite so easily. It has a reputation stretching back three decades for economy, efficiency and a no-nonsense can-do attitude. It's grown a little – middle-aged spread, you might say – and now only comes as a five-door model. There's only one engine available – a 1.2-litre three-cylinder producing 79bhp, but the supercharged DIG-S version with 97bhp is a much more interesting alternative. Not least because it's claimed that it will do almost 70 miles to the gallon when driven frugally and produce an odour-free 95g/km.
The answer to the opening question is C – they're deaf – the pedestrian, that is, not the dog.
MPG 68.9
Top speed 112mph
Why would a pedestrian dress their dog in a yellow or burgundy coat? Are they: A) dog training, B) colour blind, C) deaf or D) elderly? Any idea? No, me neither. It's just one of the 650 questions that students taking their driving theory test are expected to know. A survey by Haynes, which has just published The Highway Code for Drivers (£2.50), finds one in three of us believe we'd fail the theory test if we had to take it now.
It's 28 years since I passed my test (first time, and I still feel improbably chuffed about that). I don't remember the test, but I do recall my driving instructor, Gary, very clearly. He had constant catarrh, a nasal Glaswegian accent and whined incessantly about Rangers, and his car, a Nissan Micra, always smelled overpoweringly of apricot air freshener and chips.
Gary and his car have been on my mind for two reasons this week. First, my teenage daughter has just had her first driving lesson (with Kevin in a Ford Fiesta, no detectable smell, though) and, secondly, I've been driving the latest incarnation of Nissan's Micra.
Before getting into the car I decided to recreate some of my heady teenage days at the wheel of a car for the first time. Not by spritzing the car with apricot juice and stretching into a Rangers shirt, but by taking an online UK Driving Theory Test (DTT). You are posed 50 questions in a 57-minute test. To pass you must score 43 or more. I decided to approach the exam as I would any other – so, no revision. The results? Well, it went the same way as so many of my other exams – a narrow fail – 42. But it did only take me 19 minutes.
Having taken the theory, it was time for the practical part of this car test. For anyone who has been a fan of the bug-eyed bubble-backed Noddy Nissan, this all-new version is a disappointment to look at. Whereas the previous model had a mischievous smile and packed a petite punch when it came to style, this one looks a little joyless despite the Starburst colours, its charisma bypassed in favour of middle-of-the-road blandness. It's not surprising it's looking a little wan. Nissan's award-winning Sunderland factory used to pop out Micras with such efficiency the Tyne-and-Wear plant became the most productive in Europe. But now the Micra is being produced in India, from where it will be reimported back to Blighty, leaving the Geordie workers to concentrate on the Micra's funkier sisters – Juke, Note, Qashqai and Leaf. It's hard not to feel that the Micra has been parked up in Miss Havisham's garage.
But the little car won't give up quite so easily. It has a reputation stretching back three decades for economy, efficiency and a no-nonsense can-do attitude. It's grown a little – middle-aged spread, you might say – and now only comes as a five-door model. There's only one engine available – a 1.2-litre three-cylinder producing 79bhp, but the supercharged DIG-S version with 97bhp is a much more interesting alternative. Not least because it's claimed that it will do almost 70 miles to the gallon when driven frugally and produce an odour-free 95g/km.
The answer to the opening question is C – they're deaf – the pedestrian, that is, not the dog.
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